What the hell problem is with me.
These few days, these few hyper-crazy days, I feel not as useful as before. When I get too happy, I tend not to see the deep side about life; about school; about teachers; about my future; about my dearest friends... you name it.
My brain is not working as well as when i feel emo. I think i'm better to others when i'm emo. What's the reason? Because when I get emo, my sense come real and i get much more sensitive to what others are doing and feeling. Not now.
At this time when I'm on the other side of my character, I feel more with myself. I don't know what to say, with no worries, no troubles, I don't get to immerse myself in the tub of feelings and I don't feel for others at all.
I tried, but to no avail.
Maybe I've not tried hard enough? I hope so, because I don't wanna be tagged as an unthoughtful idiot..since I'm already a failure at it.
Life feels uneasy. It's so difficult to achieve a balance! When i felt emo last month.. what i wanted was all my troubles to fly..all my worries to disappear, then I can be happy and feel lighter.
Until...my hope seemed to come true.. and since the release of my school results- since that day onwards- I've started to feel very very happy... I felt so happy that i started to forget myself.
Where have all my senses gone?
anyway.. tell myself to shut up. This is not something to be blogged about.
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Sorry Jorin if I let you down in anyway, just..sorry. I don't know how to explain. It's been long since I felt so bad.
{the riddle of red}
